I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
