I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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