NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize