her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sobbing to NWA
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
