i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How's work?
Spinning.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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