It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
