I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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