I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
