Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
