Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
