the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
