I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
