Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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