8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I want to fling myself into the sun
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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