she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
