oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize