More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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