Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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