I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
