Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
