i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
