Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
