i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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