All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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