Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
