This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
