I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
