Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
