you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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