I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
