In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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