u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
