I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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