Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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