Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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