she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
