I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
