Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
