ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
