Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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