I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
