it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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