and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
