Already got asked if we're dating
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i dont even know how to be here
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
