i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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