She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
