you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
