why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
