oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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