if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You ate ashes out of my bong
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
