Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
