girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
