You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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