i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
