yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
