You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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