so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
