sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
