guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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