you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
