4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
