coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
