Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I am midnight drunk by noon
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Randomize
