I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
